Thursday, January 24, 2008

I Love my Kelsey

I have been taking a kickboxing class for the past 3 weeks at our local parks and rec center. It is really fun and I have really been enjoying it, I've been sore, but truly loving it. Well, this morning after kickboxing, my lower neck/shoulder blade was sort of hurting. A sore muscle or something, actually, I think I slept crazy. Anyway, I was getting the girls their morning oatmeal ready and I was trying a new trick my friend Wendy posted on her blog. There is an old Polish remedy for sore muscles, you take a flax seed gel tablet, cut it open, rub it on your sore body, cover with a warm cloth, and wha - laa. Better. So I tried it today.

I was scantily clad on the upper part of by body so I could gain access to my sore neck/shoulder blade and so I wouldn't get oil on my shirt. While they were eating, I was rubbing oil on my neck/shoulder blade. Kelsey asked me what I was doing and I told her the whole story. She watched me for a minute or so and then this conversation occurred.

Kelsey: Mom, I don't think it is a sore muscle, I think it is fat.

Me: Oh thanks honey, that makes me feel better. ( I really wanted to give her the we don't say "fat" lecture, but I didn't. She has heard it a few times already.)

Kelsey: Sorry Mom, you know what I mean, that sore spot is just a lump of fat though, not muscle.

Me: (Dirty look) Tell me what you mean. (Thinking, what LUMP??)

Kelsey: (Trying hard to talk fast so I would feel better about being called fat quicker) Well, you know if you were a deer and we shot you and skinned you, well, we wouldn't eat that part of you that is sore.

Me: So do we eat the fat or muscle of a deer?

Kelsey: Muscle, that is why we wouldn't eat that part of you if you were a deer. It would be white, not red when we took your skin off.

I smiled and ended the conversation. So there you all have it, an anatomy lesson, a manners lesson, and a deer skinning lesson, all over brown sugar oatmeal this morning! Actually, lack of manners lesson!

Oh, and she also told me after the mom-is-a-big-fat-nasty-deer-conversation "You know you are not supposed to have that." She was referring to a little blitz of color on my milky white skin, normally well hidden from view.

Me: Well, I got it before President Hinckley told us not to.

Kelsey: Well, does it wash off?

Me: No Goosie, it does not wash off.

Kelsey: Yes it does or else it would be the kind you get poked a 100 times with a needle to get.

Me: (Astonished at her knowledge of the fine art of tattooing) Mom did get poked with a needle a bunch of times, it is stuck there forever, and how do you know about all this?

Kelsey: Bentley told me. He was poking everyone with colored pencils a long time ago in school to make tattoos.

So there you go again folks, if you don't know something, ask a Kindergartner!


Jenny said...

and to top it off Kendal hates you! She really was great today! Maybe she is not use to mess, so she didn't feel like she needed to destroy my books and counter because they were already destroyed. Or she just loves me more.
You are a great mom and you know it. I don't make my kids oatmeal they get package quaker stuff. I will rub flax oil on you, I thougth that is what Kelsey was going to do, I never guess the anatomy lesson would come out of this sore musscle, wait fat lump!

Tori said...

I totally thought the story was going to go in the direction of your sweet daughter rubbing the oil on your sore spot, but then knowing Kelsey I am not surprised. I just sat her giggling at what she had to say. It is truly amazing what kids pick up in life and what sticks in their little brains. I rubbed your sore spot over the weekend and I hope you remember our conversation over the fact that you have absolutely NO fat, just mostly bones, and you were really tight.....

Tori said...

It sounds like you need to watch out for Bentley, the future tattoo artist!! I bet Kelsey thinks I am the spawn of the devil will all of my sins!! Maybe she will pray for me......

Epperson Family said...

Kids are so funny! I didn't know you had a fun tatoo! I'll have to hear that story. I could give you a back rub tonight if you sew my heart for me! Is it a deal?

Brittany said...

So FUNNY! Kelsey is so cute....cute to me...because she has not seen my back that is full of white no meat!

I do remember you telling me that matt has asked you "what are you going to tell your daughters when they see you little spot of COLOR! I guess it just happened a little sooner than you thought!

I see your were showing them what NOT to were taking one for the team :)

Mom said...

Ok, my turn,,I too thought the story was leading to Miss Kelsey rubbing the oil for ya.
And Tori is right,,, there is not a ounce of fat on you,,,,and as far as tattos, lets see what happens in about 10-15 years.

Mom said...

Your dad says if your the spawn of the devil,.,,then he is the devil.
(and he is such a cute devil)
We think your both sweethearts,and you can't find nicer people.

Jenn said...

Let me pick my self up off the floor. What a post! So many lessons in that one. I don't think you missed anything! :) Kelsey is the smartest kid I know. What kindergartner knows all that!?. Besides Kelsey.

Alison said...

i would just like to inform you, that because of you and jen, my blog will be updated tomorrow! i guess i can show my pictures and such from my amazing vacations that i went on last fall.... :)

rachel said...

Dad is a cute devil, and thanks for loving us mom!
Jenn, get up off the floor. You will send Kade to school soon and he will know EVERYTHING too!
Just so you all know, Kendal hates me because she trashes my house and acted like a little angel at Jen's.
Alison, I am so excited! you will be on my list soon!
Brittany, thanks for making me feel better about the whole what not to do thing!
Where did that back rub go Heather? Actually, I think the oil worked a little, it does feel better.

Krista said...

Rob and I laughed so hard with this post. When Kelsey started talking about skinning you I about fell off my chair. Matt has sure trained her!
I have to admit I am intrigued about your "spot of color". I would love to hear that story!

wendy said...

I'm still laughing. I almost missed this one since I haven't looked at your blog for a while. Kelsey is so funny. You guys are going to be cracking up about this down the road!

Rachel said...

Matt read this post to Kelsey tonight. He was laughing and she started to cry.
I felt so badly. I asked her why she was crying and she said that I should not have written that story on the blog and that it was a secret. Then she told me she was mad at me. I think I embarrased my sweet girl. AFter a few loves and Matt and I telling her that is was a cute, funny story, we finally got a few smiles.
She got in bed and told me that I needed to ask her from now on if things she tells me are secrets or not.
I love her.


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