Thursday, October 04, 2007

My Kelsey is doomed!!

My little Kelsey is smart, in fact, I think she is amazing. She has a photographic mind (I almost wrote photogenic mind!) and can memorize like you wouldn't believe. She was 3 months away from being 3 years old when she wrote EVERYONE'S Christmas gift tags for presents that year. I showed her once what a W looked like and she knew it, just like the rest of the letters.
So, Thursday is her show and tell day. Last Thursday she told me that she wanted to take some horse bones to school that her dad told her about. So, she told me where dad said they were, in a box, on the bottom of his pile ( a whole other post about HIS PILE!). So I get the box out from underneath the leaning-tower-of-books-pile 2 minutes before we needed to be going to school. I opened the box and nearly threw up. I was expecting horse bones, clean, nice, white, DEAD horse bones.
Oh no, in that box was a cross section of the lower portion of an ENTIRE horse leg! I am talking bones, hide, hair, and a lot of other utterly nasty REAL stuff that I didn't look at too closely because I slammed the lid of that box back down. I truly felt my mouth start to water like it does before I lose my biscuits. YUCK!! I told Kelsey that was completely nasty, she would totally gross her classmates out, and that there was no way she was taking that to school for show and tell. I had these images of Kelsey being exiled on the playground for bringing a horse leg to school and I could ONLY imagine what her teacher would think! So, she desperately searched her room for some APPROPRIATE show and tell item.
Okay, so that afternoon Kelsey calls her dad and tells her about her day. He asks how show and tell went. She told him "Dad, mom wouldn't let me take the horse bones because she said it is nasty, so I took a pumpkin from the garden instead." Matt tells Kelsey to give her mom the phone. He says "Why did you tell her that was nasty? Don't you realize she listens to everything you say and wants to be like you, so now she thinks it is nasty too." I nicely told him that is WAS nasty and that she would have freaked out everyone in school and she would have no friends and her teacher would call the state on us and so on and so on.
So, today was Show and Tell again, Thursday.
She told me that her dad had something special for her to take and asked if I wanted to see it. Sure I say. So she gets out horse bones, not the ones with hair from the box, but nice clean horse bones that Matt got at vet school. (Do you remember doing that with him Joe?) I can deal with white bones, even if they are real. Actually, at this very instant I have nice white, clean, real horse bones in the laundry basket on top of the dryer (with clothes all around it!), on the top shelf in my clothing closet, and also in our closet on the floor amongst Matt's shoes. Most of them are glued together to form a 2 foot section of a horse leg. Aren't we gross? You just learned WAY too much about the Cranes just now didn't you?
So my sweet Kelsey asks if I want to know what the bones are called. Sure honey I say. She says, "This one is P1, this one is P2, this one is P3, this is the navicular bone, and this is a joint" as she points to each individual bone that Matt has so carefully silicone glued together. She tells me that she is going to do just that for show and tell and tell her whole class about this horse foot. I think great, this will be good!
So here is the kicker.
Kelsey gets home from school and we are going through her backpack to see what new things she brought home. I saw the broken bones and pulled them out. She said, "Dang it, I better call dad and tell him they broke." So she calls Matt on his cell phone and this is what she said, "Dad, I have to tell you something terrible that just happened. P2 just broke off of P3 in my backpack on the way home." I looked at her and just about laid a golden twinkie! She was totally and seriously talking like a 3 foot veterinarian! I snatched that phone from her and Matt was laughing his tail off! He thought that was the greatest thing ever, to have Kelsey talk horse bone talk to him.
I told him she is doomed to become such a nerd. Animal nerd from dad and plant and bug nerd from me. (You know pill bugs, the ones that roll up into a ball, Kelsey calls them Maly bugs because I told her the Latin family name for them was Malacostracia- when she was 3!! Yesterday she asked what the real name of a bug she had in her hand was and I told her Hemiptera.) She is totally doomed!

So in case you all wanted to see P2 broken from P3, here it is. The picture above it is Kelsey holding it how it is supposed to be. Matt also told me on the phone that he can't wait tell teach her the REAL names, distal phalanx, instead of P3. By the way, I want you all to be grateful I didn't take a picture of the nasty box of bones. Count your blessings on that one!

So please be nice to the nerdy Cranes!

Okay, happy note, Matt left to go camping and elk hunting today. Not happy that he left, just happy for him to go play in the great outdoors!

Not too bad of a pile of crap, except that it doesn't include his tent, the poles, stove for the tent, food, anything to cook the invisible food with, or a tooth brush and toothpaste! And men think women are bad!

Sorry about the late post Joe, I had quilt guild tonight and got home late. It was a super night, although Kendal gave the babysitter a massive headache and the poor 13 year old girl swore she would NEVER have children! My work is done! Just Kidding!


Tori said...

Okay, so now I am laughing so hard that I can't see the screen because of the tears!
This is aunt Tori's point of view: She is sooooo not doomed! I think it's great that your little girl has a brain and knows how to use it! At least she is going to have great dreams and aspirations in life and not settle for the Wendy's french fry girl. Plus I think that it's great because, she will be in less trouble as she grows up, with her brains and her deep rooted modesty, she will NOT be a prego chick at 16! That, in and of itself, is PRICELESS!!
I think that you and Matty and wonderful parents and have so much of your own knowledge to share with your children, and at least she is curious about the world--in a good way!

Lindsay Roberts said...

I can't believe you have bones in your HOUSE! I made Joe move his to the garage as soon as I moved in!

Kelsey should go to work wiith Matt on "take your daughter to work day". She might be Dr. Crane by the end of the day :) Have a great weekend.

Krista said...

Your daughter is not doomed. Be grateful that she has such a great memory and is so curious. It could be just the opposite!

BTW...On the news last night they had a therapist on and his name was Andy Haskell. I was wondering if it is the one we know. Is Amber's Andy a therapist?

mom said...

Rach,,, remember when I told you I thought Kelsey would be a vet? I still think she will. The horse bones weren't that bad.
Krista, Last night Marion woke me from a deep sleep,,,,to tell me Andy Haskell was on the news.I woke up long enough to get a glimpse of him,,,,,, Yep,,, was the same Andy Haskell.

Wendy's French Fry Girl said...

I am so offended!

Rachel said...

I knew I would gross someone out, and Lindsay, thanks for being the ONLY one to actually say it. The rest of you are wimps for not telling me how strange I am for having a horse leg in my laundry room!
Krista, I called Amber this afternoon and yes it was Andy, our very own Andy was interviewed by our very own Sam Penrod. Good job!

Mom said...

Oh my,,,,, for some reason I can't stop giggling @ the french fry chick,,,,,toooooooo funny!
I must be wayyyyy tired,,,,,, okay, off to the shower with me.
Keep smiling girls!

Krista said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Krista said...

Thanks Buttons and Rachel for letting me know that I'm not losing my mind. I thought it might have been him, but I haven't seen him in 13 years. Ugh! Has it really been that long? Man, I'm getting old!

Anonymous said...

All that I can say is...I hope she rubs off on my three... It's a hell of a lot better than having them turn into SHEEP HERDERS! You think YOUR doomed, have you met my husband???

Tori said...

Sorry French-Fry- Girl! I completely understand that you have a valid place in the balance of the world. Without you, I could never enjoy those salty pieces of potato heaven. Please don't poison me!!

Rachel said...

Salty pieces of heaven? Amen Amen Amen


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